I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major
by raveastwandurt
Summary: Another oneshot songfic, might end up being a more.
1. Chapter 1

I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General

I do not own Teen Titans or this song. It was recommended, and I don't know who the original artist is. I also don't own "All I Wanna Do."

They said there was nothing to fear out there. They said there was nothing hiding in the shadows. They were wrong, there is something very scary out there. No, not Batman. Robin. Singing karaoke.

I am the very model of a modern Major-General,

I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical,

From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;

I'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical,

I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,

About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news---

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

Yes it seems Starfire was able to convince everyone to go to a karaoke bar, unknowing the horror she would unleash.

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous;

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

It was Robin's turn and so far he had destroyed thirteen mirrors, deafened seven black cats, and made Beast Boy break down crying on Raven's shoulder.

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's,

I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,

I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,

In conics I can floor peculiarities parablous.

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,

I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes,

Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

Starfire due to all the Tamaranean folk songs she knew, was of course immune to Robins horrible singing voice and was enjoying this very much.

Then I can write a washing bill in Balylonic cuneiform,

And tell you every detail of Caractacus's uniform;

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

Your probably wondering why Cyborg hasn't been mentioned yet. While he had come with the other Titans, he hasn't been seen since singing "All I Wanna Do" to Bumble Bee. Lucky him.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",

When I can tell at sight a chassepôt rifle from a javelin,

When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,

And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,

When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery:

In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,

You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee---

And yet the remaining Titans dread is rising. Why is this you may ask.

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,

Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;

But still in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

Starfire is up next.

* * *

Oh the horror. I'm thinking of continueing this, but will do so only if i get atleast **ten** reviews. Hoped you enjoyed it and please review. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Remember Me**

I don't own the Teen Titans, and Hoobastank owns this song

* * *

As Star Fire gets up to the stage, Robin smirks at the thought of Star Fire singing about him. While everyone else just groans in fear at the upcoming Tamaranian ballad. 

"Ahem…"

I stand here face to face

With someone that I used to know

He used to look at me and laugh

But now he claims

That he's known me for so very long

The looks of shock range from horrified to humored. Not only is Star Fire good but she's _good_.

But I remember being no one

I wanted to be just like you

So perfect, so untouchable

Now you want me to be with you

Someone who used to have it all

Guess who's horrified.

Do you remember now

You acted like you never noticed me

Forget it

Cause the gone has come around

And you're not allowed to be a part of me

As Beast Boy and Raven cheer her on, Robin sinks lower and lower into his seat.

Did you know me?

Or were you too preoccupied

With playing king in your small kingdom

And now the real world

Has stripped you of your royalty

And from your kingdom you're evicted

I wanted to be just like you

So perfect, so untouchable

Now you want me to be with you

Someone who used to have it all

Do you remember now

As Star Fire nears the end of the song Robin tries to think of any plan that will get him out of there unseen.

You acted like you never noticed me

Forget it

Cause the gone has come around

You're not allowed to be a part of me

Part of me

Part of me

Part of me

You're never going to be a part of me

You're never going to be a part of me

You're never going to be a part of me

You're never going to be a part of me

You're never going to be a part of me

You're never going to be a part of me

Do you remember now

You acted like you never noticed me

Forget it

Cause the gone has come around

You're not allowed to be a part of me

Part of me

Part of me

Part of me

Cheers erupt from the audience, causing Star Fire to blush.

"Thank you friends. That song was dedicated to the Red X."

Gotcha.

* * *

Please R&R. 


	3. Dominic The Donkey

Dominic the donkey

I own nothing but the nachos.

_(Singing_ Beast Boy) (Singing Raven)

"I can't believe you talked me into doing this."

"Lighten up, it'll be fun. _Gar Gar._"

"My God, I've created a monster!" Beast Boy mock shouts.

"Shut up and get into character." Replies Raven as Beast Boy begrudgingly morphs into a donkey.

Hey! Chingedy ching,

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw_

It's Dominic the donkey.

Chingedy ching,

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw _

The Italian Christmas donkey.

(la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)

As Raven sits atop Beast boy the donkey with a grin, the other Titans are off in the corner laughing their heads off.

Santa's got a little friend,

His name is Dominic.

The cutest little donkey, (Raven gives Beast Boy an affectionate pat.)

You never see him kick.

When Santa visits his paisons,

With Dominic he'll be.

Because the reindeer cannot,

Climb the hills of Italy .

Hey! Chingedy ching,

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw_

It's Dominic the donkey.

Chingedy ching,

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw_

The Italian Christmas donkey.

(la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)

Raven jumps down off Beast Boy to point at his hoofs.

Jingle bells around his feet,

And presents on the sled. (Raven puts a hat on Beast Boy)

Hey! Look at the mayor's derby,

On top of Dominic's head.

A pair of shoes for Louie,

And a dress for Josephine.

The labels on the inside says,

They're made in Brook-a-leen .

Raven jumps back on to Beast Boy and gives him an affectionate pat on his head.

Hey! Chingedy ching,

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw _

It's Dominic the donkey.

Chingedy ching,

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw _

The Italian Christmas donkey.

(la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)

Children sing, and clap their hands,

And Dominic starts to dance.

They talk Italian to him,

And he even understands.

Cumpare sing, Cumpare su,

And dance 'sta tarantel.

When sannanicola comes to town,

And brings du ciuccianello.

Hey! Chingedy ching,

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw_

It's Dominic the donkey.

Chingedy ching,

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw _

The Italian Christmas donkey.

(la la la-la la-la la la la la) (la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)

Hey! Dominic! Buon Natale !

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw _

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw _

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw _

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw _

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw _

_H__ee-haw, hee-haw_

_HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Nachos. We dedicate this to my brother and all the brave men and women "Over There" with him. Original song written by the great George M. Cohan.

"Ahem," Beast Boy starts on the stage. "We'd like to be serious for a moment here folks. Unlike the rest of our songs, this next one is for the real heroes overseas. If you know the words join in. If not, well, I think we all at least know the tune. Thank you."

All of the Titans are on the stage dressed in Camoes. A familiar tune starts up and the titans begin to sing.

Johnnie, get your gun,  
Get your gun, get your gun,  
Take it on the run,  
On the run, on the run.  
Hear them calling, you and me,  
Every son of liberty.  
Hurry right away,  
No delay, go today,  
Make your daddy glad  
To have had such a lad.  
Tell your sweetheart not to pine,  
To be proud her boy's in line.

Most of the crowd begins to quietly sing along as the first chorus begins.

Over there, over there,  
Send the word, send the word over there -  
That the Yanks are coming,  
The Yanks are coming,  
The drums rum-tumming  
Ev'rywhere.  
So prepare, say a pray'r,  
Send the word, send the word to beware.  
We'll be over, we're coming over,  
And we won't come back till it's over  
Over there.

Over there, over there,  
Send the word, send the word over there -  
That the Yanks are coming,  
The Yanks are coming,  
The drums rum-tumming  
Ev'rywhere.  
So prepare, say a pray'r,  
Send the word, send the word to beware.  
We'll be over, we're coming over,  
And we won't come back till it's over  
Over there.

Nearly every person in the bar is singing loudly, those who aren't hum the tune in support.

Johnnie, get your gun,  
Get your gun, get your gun,  
Johnnie show the Hun  
Who's a son of a gun.  
Hoist the flag and let her fly,  
Yankee Doodle do or die.  
Pack your little kit,  
Show your grit, do your bit.  
Yankee to the ranks,  
From the towns and the tanks.  
Make your mother proud of you,  
And the old Red, White and Blue.

Over there, over there,  
Send the word, send the word over there -  
That the Yanks are coming,  
The Yanks are coming,  
The drums rum-tumming  
Ev'rywhere.  
So prepare, say a pray'r,  
Send the word, send the word to beware.  
We'll be over, we're coming over,  
And we won't come back till it's over  
Over there.

Over there, over there,  
Send the word, send the word over there -  
That the Yanks are coming,  
The Yanks are coming,  
The drums rum-tumming  
Ev'rywhere.  
So prepare, say a pray'r,  
Send the word, send the word to beware.  
We'll be over, we're coming over,  
And we won't come back till it's over  
Over there.

Support the troops and God bless America. Thank you.


End file.
